NYC Haunted House
I don’t know what it is about a haunted house that just gets me grinning. I’ve been to “Nightmares” downtown (theatrical, vignette-driven), “Blood Manor” in Chelsea (more traditional/clowns jumping out and scaring you) but this year there’s a new kid on the block; and I, along with friends Tyler, Tracy and Sage, checked it out last night.
I can truly say I wasn’t prepared for this little mindfu*k. And although it was over quickly – I probably came the closest to genuine fright that i’ve ever experienced in a haunted house. Also, they insist that you go through the house ALONE. Which completely empties out all the giggly fun parts. And there are some intense rules 1) you must follow the path 2) you will be touched 3) you have to wear weird stuff 4) the safety word is “safety”.
So here’s what happens: You walk in, They give you a shot of whiskey (good so far), then they put a surgical mask over your face (uncomfortable). When I pulled it down off my nose so I could breathe a little better I was chastised. Then they put those plastic individual cuffs (that police use) on each one of your wrists. After an intimidating preamble, the guy gives you a flashlight (about 2 inches in size) that completely doesn’t work and you’re told to follow the path (basically white glow tape that’s impossible to see). Since you can’t see anything you are practically crawling on the ground to find your way. After many twists and turns, people seem to jump out of nowhere. You’re grabbed, told to walk up and down stairs, THEN they bind your hands together (hence the plastic cuffs), put a burlap sack over your head (!) while grabbing at you some more (going up and down stairs), and generally freaking you out. I had to kneel. Apparently my friend Tyler had to bark. And then you just wait for what happens next. Crazy.
I was NOT prepared to have a burlap sack over my head and admit I had to “talk myself down” a bit as you were stuck waiting for a few minutes to be told what to do next — which felt like an eternity. [too hot! can’t breathe!] After pulling the bag and bindings off (GASP* thank God), you’re roughed up a bit more, then walk through some weird maze stuff, until you find yourself in an enclosed Buffalo Bill themed room with a big “EXIT” sign over the opposing door. Of course when you go to open the door –it won’t. And then you see that there’s some crazy man/woman creature emerging from a rocking chair that you basically have to fight in order to escape.
There is in fact a smaller door, with a padlock. He has the key to the lock. and you have to get it from him. Oh, and he’s naked from the waist done (–this is likely fake, though I admit i couldn’t quite tell in the moment). Then once you are able to get the key and let yourself out (which is sort of a physical battle), you crawl down this claustrophobia inducing weird tunnel type thing. Then it was over.
Very experiential. All psychological. And all-in-all a trippy experience. Tho I think it would have been better if they continued with that scary torture intimidation theme that was so unsettling at the top. As I was contemplating my own suffocation (Get me out of here) with the bag over my head, I thought for sure they were going to ‘walk me to the gallows’ or put me in some sort of guillotine contraption. Or why not put you in a room in the dark. They could put you in a chair and bind your arms to it, then throw on the lights and you could be staring at yourself in the mirror, realizing that your stapped into an electric chair. Queue mad scientist throwing switch, houselights way up, then blackout. Etc. I’m just sayin’!
Here’s the link to the Vortex haunted house http://www.nychalloweenhauntedhouse.com/
Attached pic shows me wearing the surgical mask after we got back to my house. The crew and I had pizza and watched The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (brilliant/disturbing/why did I watch it again). A nice preable to the main event.
Happy Halloween, everyone.
Psychological
In honor of tonight’s visit to what promises to be an absolutely creepy haunted house (more on that later), i thought we’d give a listen to this Pet Shop Boys track from their overlooked 2006 album, Fundamental.
It was the first time the Boys worked with uber-producer Trevor Horn since their brilliant 1988 track “Left To My Own Devices” (still my favorite PSB song). This “spooky” song is a little ridiculous, unusually spare, and doesn’t really fit into the rest of the album (it only sounds classically PSB-lush to me in the bridge), but I dig the insistent (synth bass?) hook and its general quirkiness. Not so sure about this performance but give it the ol’ Haloween/neon-inspired college try…. PSB – “Psychological”La Roux – Highline Ballroom
So we had a great time at the La Roux show even though lead singer Elly Jackson continued to suffer from the flu (which has plagued her on this entire tour). The set was short and her voice gave way in spots and her presence lacked heft – but the crowd was so supportive and effusive it hardly mattered. Elly looked a bit terrified of us…as if us mean New Yorkers would charge the stage and gouge out her eyes if she hit a bum note. But there was no need to worry. “Bulletproof” and “I’m Not Your Toy” we’re highlights….And the band’s more Eurythmics-styled tendancies were in full effect [For the record I think it’s odd that there are only 2 – count ’em 2 –songs on the record that I don’t like (“In for the Killl” and “Quicksand”) and they’ve both been released as singles. I must be losing my touch].
Anyway, a couple (blurry blackberry pics) are attached…along with a lil vid of from the night’s performance of “Bulletproof”! Here’s a link to a song they played that I didn’t know at all but totally dug. It’s apparently a bonus track from the digital version of the album. “Saviour”And here’s my favorite track that they didn’t play!!!! Grrrr….It reminds me of “Wouldn’t It Be Good” by Nik Kershaw for some reason (minus the guitars). According to this video they’re totally capable. Perhaps the ‘oooo oooo ooohs’ and the vamping at the end were too much for her that night. Check out the hair! “As If By Magic”
La Roux – Highline Ballroom
So we had a great time at the La Roux show even though lead singer Elly Jackson continued to suffer from the flu (which has plagued her on this entire tour). The set was short and her voice gave way in spots and her presence lacked heft – but the crowd was so supportive and effusive it hardly mattered. Elly looked a bit terrified of us…as if us mean New Yorkers would charge the stage and gouge out her eyes if she hit a bum note. But there was no need to worry. “Bulletproof” and “I’m Not Your Toy” we’re highlights….And the band’s more Eurythmics-styled tendancies were in full effect [For the record I think it’s odd that there are only 2 – count ’em 2 –songs on the record that I don’t like (“In for the Killl” and “Quicksand”) and they’ve both been released as singles. I must be losing my touch].
Anyway, a couple (blurry blackberry pics) are attached…along with a lil vid of from the night’s performance of “Bulletproof”! Here’s a link to a song they played that I didn’t know at all but totally dug. It’s apparently a bonus track from the digital version of the album. “Saviour”And here’s my favorite track that they didn’t play!!!! Grrrr….It reminds me of “Wouldn’t It Be Good” by Nik Kershaw for some reason (minus the guitars). According to this video they’re totally capable. Perhaps the ‘oooo oooo ooohs’ and the vamping at the end were too much for her that night. Check out the hair! “As If By Magic”
Chumbadontjudge
I have no idea why I’ve found myself playing this song recently.
I found it on an old compilation/it’s been appearing on my iPod/i wish it was the 90s?…so many reasons. So spare your judgement, here’s Chumbawumba’s (not nearly as successful follow-up to “Tubthumping”–may we never hear that song again), “Amnesia.” (The superior) album version And then here’s the single/video version…the guitars are turned down a little and they’ve added some Madonna/Shep Pettibone/”Vogue”-style drumbreaks.Blind Alley
Smooth, funky early track from the ‘Best of My Love’ ladies…
The Emotions – “Blind Alley”Moyet
Hearing artists like La Roux who combine metallic 80s production with white girl soul made me think of the lovely Alison Moyet and this underappreciated track from the Hoodoo album
The live version linked to below seems to be aping the remix version of this song which I was absolutely OBSESSED with in the Fall of 1996, especially the bridge. Alison Moyet – “Never Too Late”Harry Giger Chic
I had no idea that H.R. Giger, best known for designing the monster in Alien, directed videos for Debbie Harry!
Giger shot the striking cover of 1981’s KOO KOO, Harry’s first solo record.
Produced by Nile Rodgers and Bernard Edwards of Chic-fame (before they both become renowned producers in their own right for such artists as Madonna [“Like A Virgin”] and David Bowie [“Let’s Dance”], and Jodie Watley [“Looking for A New Love”], respectively), the album’s funked up tunes have absolutely no stylistic synergy with Giger’s notoriously cold and creepy images. (He also did a video for the song “Backfired” but the video below is more striking). Such a strange juxtaposition, and the album bombed.
Debbie Harry “Now I Know You Know”
Aww, what the hell, here’s the “Backfired” video:
There is one track from the record that I actually love. A fun and silly little slice of 80s funk called “The Jam Was Moving”
Michael Johns
So this is a little embarassing but into a few songs off the recent album from American Idol alum, Michael Johns. I know it’s basically a Joe Cocker rip-off but it ain’t bad!
Michael Johns “Fools Gold” –
SWIZZLSTICK 