Such a Pretty Mess on My Dress
World's most ridiculous song. After being kicked off the Purple Rain set by Prince and quickly being replaced by (one in a long succession) of lookalikes (this time Apollonia), Vanity moved to Motown to record a solo record. I think it's sort of amazing that she released this song as a pop single in 1984. Um, it's about someone ejaculating on her clothes. That was 25 years ago, people. Like, um, wow!
It's been well documented that she had a pretty serious drug problem at this time and has since cleaned up (maybe too much – I think she's a Christian evangelist now). But her bad choices are our YouTube fodder. And check-out all the video's popped champagne corks, falling pearls, etc, just to drive the visual metaphor home. Thanks, Vanity! Vanity – "Pretty Mess"
SWIZZLSTICK 
This is seriously amazing. Otherwise known as the Monica Lewinsky theme song.
Where to begin? The man? The HAIR? The feathers? The earrings? The song? The lyrics? The dancing/wiggling? GP, I heart you for the enrichment.
Meanwhile, I’m slightly embarrassed to admit this — but I kind of love the song. Have I lost my mind? And I’ve been trolling around online and it looks like it was never released digitally — like not even on an out-of-print CD. How is this possible!?!?!?! (I know there are at least 7 punchlines lined up in response to that question…)
In middle school, I somehow tracked the vinyl LP down but probably got rid of it long ago. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was never issued on CD – am pretty sure it bombed. I mean, who’s going to play THAT song in 1984? I agree though – this has been stuck in my head all week!
Fascinating! Yes, Pretty Mess and Dancing in the Sheets are pretty much the same song. Which would explain why I love Pretty Mess so much.And I like your lyric better 😉 Though I do love me that old expression "it’s like throwing a hot dog down a hallway…"
Now for some further enrichment. Turns out the writer/producer was also behind this track….which Totally makes sense as they’re….kind of the same song! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5d23xNp5EE
and while I thought she said, "and then he found a hole and it went all the way in." She actually says, "and then he found a hallway that went all the way." Guess that’s pretty much the same thing.